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Taking responsibility – How to control your life yourself

You want to be happier? Be more self-confident? You want more success in life? More health? More fulfilling friendships and an intimate partnership? Then stop just waiting for all these things and hoping that your life will take a happy turn by itself.

Instead, take full responsibility for your life into your own hands and become the captain of your life! How exactly this is supposed to work and what has possibly kept you from doing it so far, you will learn here in this article.

What keeps you from taking on more responsibility

There are many reasons why people are reluctant to take on more responsibility. The most important of these reasons, I will now briefly show you in the following. I am not doing this to make you feel bad or more discouraged than you were before this article. On the contrary! I am doing this because it is important to understand why we humans do the things we do.

We all like to make excuses why we can’t, shouldn’t or don’t want to do something. We are all often dishonest with ourselves and in this way, in truth, only shy away from finally taking on more responsibility. This can have many reasons! And it is important to understand HIS reasons better, in order to be able to take the step towards more responsibility.

The “My situation is different” excuse

Your dog died, you’re too young, too old, your line of work is too crowded, your company doesn’t promote your potential, your boss is really a really bad guy… We’ve heard it all before.

Yes, maybe you are really in a difficult situation. Yes, maybe you really are disadvantaged by the system. Yes, bosses can really throw a stick in your face. But that doesn’t mean you should just let go of the rudder completely?

If you say “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now!” every time you encounter an obstacle, how are things supposed to get better? Maybe your boss really did screw up your promotion. But if you take responsibility for your life, you might be able to get transferred to another department and continue your career. Problems are there to be solved!

The fear of failure and failing

Often we don’t take responsibility because we are simply afraid of failing. If you set out to make a career and don’t get the promotion, it understandably feels pretty damn bad!

But if you don’t even try to make a career, then you won’t get promoted! Your colleagues and family will certainly not be disappointed if you try and fail. But if you are a fearful couch potato, they will have no respect for you.

The fear of guilt

Especially in the context of work, taking responsibility means playing the scapegoat. But responsibility actually means seeing things through to the end. Even if things don’t go as planned.

It doesn’t matter if you made a mistake yourself or if the circumstances were unfortunate. You are the captain of your ship and do everything in your power to keep the ship on course. Don’t worry, tragic shipwrecks like the Titanic only happen once in a blue moon!

The fear of not being good enough

Have a career, have a loving relationship, be happy… do I really deserve all that? Maybe you have internalized a negative belief that you are not good enough.

And with that comes the fear of responsibility! What if you are not good enough for the job and someone else is much better suited? What if you will be a miserable parent? Please be assured here, you are good enough! If I can believe in it, so can you!

7 tips to take responsibility in everyday life

#1 Take more responsibility for your thoughts

Surely you have noticed that your body sometimes feels top fit and sometimes like a wet sack of potatoes – depending on the food you have fed it. It’s the same with our minds. Thoughts don’t just happen to us. The quality of our mind depends on what food we give our head.

Meaningless scrolling in the Facebook feed or mindless entertainment on TV are like a fast food menu for our brain. It may be the perfect way to relax now and then, but in the long run the quality of your thoughts suffers. Therefore, change from a passive consumer to an active connoisseur. Actively search for series, books like The Chainless Life, YouTube channels that increase the quality of your thoughts.

#2 Take more responsibility for your emotions

When you take responsibility for your thoughts, it automatically affects your emotions. So you kill two birds with one stone! In contrast to our basic feelings, our emotions are created by mental processes.

There is also a very common misunderstanding on the subject of emotions. Many people think that their emotions depend on external circumstances. They think that if they get a raise, they will be happy. If the weather is bad, it will make them unhappy.

Much more important, however, is their internal evaluation of these events. Maybe they just find their job deadly boring – no salary increase will help. On the other hand, you may find a rainy day an absolute stroke of luck, because you can finally watch series all day without a guilty conscience.

If you notice that you let your emotions control you, then take a step back and take responsibility for your thoughts. You will quickly notice how you automatically regain control over your emotions.

#3 Take more responsibility for your actions

Every action comes with consequences. Every non-action also comes with consequences. The big advantage of acting on our own responsibility, however, is that we can assess the consequences much better.

Let’s say you have a big team project coming up in your job. You quickly realize that the plans are going wrong and that there is no way you will reach the targets. Now you might think to yourself, “There’s no way I’m going to tell the boss about our failure. He might blame me for it!” so you let things take their course.

The problem is that you don’t know the extent of the problems and at what point your boss will notice the miss. If you take responsibility, you can create a new action plan and, in the best case, save the ship from sinking. If you can suggest a solution to the problem to your boss, you will certainly come off better than your colleagues.

#4 Take personal responsibility for your health

You only have this one body, so treat it well. What do you think will happen if you continue to smoke, drink, eat an unhealthy diet and proudly profess to be a sports muffin? You will certainly not achieve a satisfied life until old age!

It is certainly true that you may not always enjoy sports and that quitting smoking is not that easy. But that doesn’t mean you can just give up all responsibility.

You don’t have to become an exaggerated health guru and only eat celery. Think about small steps that are easy for you to take to live 1% healthier every day. For example, eat an apple every day or do one more squat every day.

If you are looking for a cool training plan, check out the Aquaman Workout from Jason Momoa.

#5 Take responsibility for your financial situation

How much do you trust your employer? If things got tough, wouldn’t she fire you because that would be “unfair” to you? Probably not, right? Do you have a partner or family who can help you financially? If so, that’s great, but how long could you be on their pocket?

The current Corona crisis shows that our income can become unstable from one day to the next. That’s why it’s important to have a nest egg or invested wisely. However, financial investments depend very much on your personal willingness to take risks and your reserves, so no one else but yourself can take care of this task.


#6 Take more responsibility through fixed goals & wishes

Wouldn’t it be great if other people could read our wishes from our eyes? Well, unfortunately, that only happens occasionally. So if you want to see your wishes and goals come true, it’s best to take care of it yourself!

The big problem with this is often that we don’t want to come across as too demanding. After all, modesty is a virtue and you should always put yourself last. But the fact is that other people are happy for us when we make our dreams come true. After all, it also makes you happy when your favorite people make a wish come true, doesn’t it?

So don’t be afraid to stand up for your own desires. Your fellow men will not see you as selfish and condemn you for it. On the contrary! They will support you morally or even help you to realize your dream.

#7 Train your decision muscle

You will make mistakes in your life! You will always make decisions that turn out to be less than ideal in retrospect. But that does not matter! Because making decisions always means moving forward. It means TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!

Because not making a decision is also a decision. Namely the decision to stand still and to fear. Putting off difficult but important decisions is not only an absolute time and success killer, but also a clear sign that you are afraid to take full responsibility for something. Therefore: Practice making decisions quickly & consistently! This is also an important step on the way to more personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility as the true key to happiness & success

No one can make you as happy as you make yourself. No one can give you the success you desire. And it is also nobody’s task to lead you to happiness and success. Because everyone is the architect of his own happiness.

Hopefully, this article has given you a good kick in the butt. You now have black on white how you can take more responsibility for your life and make yourself happier. What are you waiting for? Start today!

Take more responsibility & become the captain of your life!

We live in modern times, which are characterized by freedom and individualism. We no longer have a church that tells us what we should or should not do. We don’t live in a dictatorship that tells us what job to take. We don’t have parents pimping us into marriage with the person of their choice. We are completely free to shape our lives.

This freedom comes with great responsibility. Because if you are not happy or successful, then unfortunately you have no one to blame but yourself. So take the helm in your own hands. You know exactly where your happiness lies. Set course on your personal definition of success – with full responsibility ahead!